


you're alive and i'm still here

by daydreams



Category: Trainspotting (Movies), Trainspotting Series - Irvine Welsh
Genre: Coming back to Simon, Domestic Fluff, Getting Back Together, M/M, Mark has an emotion or two about coming back to Edinburgh, No Plot Just Feelings, This takes place during/after T2, as far as that's possible for the two of them, it is 3am i will revise this once i have had some sleep, you see where this is going
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26922136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daydreams/pseuds/daydreams
Summary: In the end, he comes back for the same reasons that he left, back then. It’s a bit funny, really. What else was he supposed to do?
Relationships: Mark "Rent Boy" Renton/Simon "Sick Boy" Williamson
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	you're alive and i'm still here

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is very short and not beta-read, but I had some feelings about Mark and Simon at 3am (as one does), so here this is. I will edit this at some later time.
> 
> Always happy about feedback!!
> 
> Title taken from Wolf Alice - Silk.

In the end, he comes back for the same reasons that he left, back then. It’s a bit funny, really. What else was he supposed to do?

The digital clock at the top of the screen keeps moving forward. Tick, tock. Below it, in bold letters, NOW BOARDING. The flight back to his old life. The attendant announces the last call. PASSENGERS ON FLIGHT ED1 0511 TO AMSTERDAM, PLEASE BOARD NOW. THIS IS THE LAST AND FINAL CALL.  
They even call out his name, then. He has already moved back towards the next hallway. MISTER MARK RENTON, they say.  
He leaves.

In the end, he goes directly to Simon. Like he always has. As if nothing has changed, in those 20 years. God knows they did.  
But Simon lets him in, nonetheless. Steps back. No questions asked. If you ignore the grumpy face, that is.

“I’m getting divorced,” Mark says, and it takes exactly one snarky smile of Simon – a bit mean, maybe, but so fucking familiar – and it’s spilling out of him, all of it, the fucking job and the non-existent children, the heart condition and all. 

“I’ve got no home. I’ve got nowhere that I think of as a home.”   
Simon frowns at that. He’s frowning most of the time, but Mark feels like this time, the critical stare can see right through him. Why is he here? Is Simon asking himself the same question?

“And what’s the substance of our acquaintance?”  
“Friendship, please.”

But is it?

In the end, Simon lets Mark rant. Gives him time for his stupid bloody monologue. Sits down on the sofa and waits for Mark to sit down with him.

And hasn’t it always been like that?

Even the half-honest questions about Veronika can’t deter Mark from the feeling of security that’s starting to set in now. Of familiarity. They’re watching some insane music video that Simon seems to like. Nothing said between them has any real substance. It’s comfortable. How did Mark manage to go 20 years without this?

In the end, it’s Simon who spells it out for the two of them. Not in words quite yet. But the fuzzy feeling in Mark’s stomach when Simon moves to the bedroom late at night and pulls Mark with him, wordlessly, is the same as it always has been. The same back then as it is now.

After Veronika leaves, they’re left in Simon’s apartment again. Alone. Just the two of them. Spud comes around once in a while, but most of the time it’s just them. Mark refuses to find words for this, for how he feels now that his life is back to the thing it almost could have been 20 years ago. But if he had to find a word, it would probably only be one. One that Simon laughs at him for, at 3am, when they’re in bed after one of their frequent old-people-shags that they do quite frankly too often, considering their decreased stamina and back problems. (Simon laughs at Mark for saying it out loud. What he thinks he would call this if someone asked. Simon laughs, but he also pulls Mark closer. Buries his face in Mark’s hair. Grabs his hand. Mark laughs with him.)  
So if he had to choose a word, it would only be the one.

In the end, Mark comes back to the one person he thinks of as a home. And it was always going to be like this, wasn’t it?

**Author's Note:**

> I will most likely write a part 2 or a more detailed version sometime in the future.
> 
> Any comment absolutely makes my day so feel free to say something, no matter how short!


End file.
